Internships, Volunteer Opportunities
Docent (posted 8/21/2010)
Leads tours of specially designated ABS facilities. Should love conversing and occasional tantric coupling with visitors of diverse backgrounds. A comprehensive understanding of erotic technologies from Phoenician bundled-stick dildos to ABS’s state-of-the-art vagina collider a huge plus. Ability to gracefully deal with the unexpected or to at least plausibly deny the existence of the monstrosity in room 14 is essential.
Gift Shop Manager (posted 8/17/2010)
Oversees the ABS gift shop on a day-to-day basis. Must be able to operate cash register accurately and to scrupulously avoid eye contact with customers during all transactions. Ideal for students or retirees who desire to work in a retail setting redolent of recent intercourse.
Outreach Assistant (posted 8/9/2010)
Helps coordinate longstanding ABS community outreach activities, including fingering assemblies in schools and the ABS Blue Balls Quilt. Must be responsive to the nipple-pinching conventions of a variety of minority and/or socioeconomic groups.
Bald Model (Female) (posted 8/7/2010)
Clean-shaven woman needed for up to eight hours of nude posing while observed through a one-way mirror. (Genitals need not be depilated.) Lunch provided.
Human Resources Associate (posted 7/31/2010)
Assists the Human Resources Manager with processing resumes and glamour shots submitted by job applicants. Occasionally permitted to participate in interviews when extra saliva is needed.
Proofreader (posted 7/20/2010)
Ensures ABS text materials are error-free and grammatically sound. Must have inexhaustible tolerance for word pre-cum.
De-splatterer (posted 2/19/2004)
Responsible for the removal of organic sexual fluids and synthetic surrogates from a variety of materials, including plaster, wood, concrete, brick, steel, terracotta, marble, and clam shell. Scraper and cleaning agents responsibility of worker.
There are no paid positions at this time.