Call For Papers – Erotic Studies Conference & Specimen Faire

Date:
May 2011

Location:
Bethesda, Maryland Dave & Buster’s. (For 300 free D&B PlayPoints, use online code “SPASM.”)

Conference theme and objectives:
The conference provides a forum for sex researchers and members of the sensual community to present their latest findings. Topics of particular interest include, but are not limited to: pornographic art showcasing the characters of “Futurama”; the semiotics of buttstuff; cremasters (the testicle muscle, not the turgid art films!!); the recently unearthed erotic necktie art of Jerry Garcia; decompression sickness — aka “the bends” — as a means of heightening orgasm; tickle pogroms; women who can climax only while imagining Harry Connick, Jr. conducting a big band.

Keynote:
“Incorporating Yoga Props Into Your Masturbation Routine,” a multimedia presentation by Yogi Adam Herskowitz, followed by free lentil wraps from vegan chain Namaste Nom Noms.

ABS is also seeking specialists to lead conference workshops. Previous topics include “Repurposing A ‘Stinky The Garbage Truck’ Matchbox Car For Use As A Sex Toy”; “Twizzlers vs. Red Vines: Which Licorice Whip Leaves The Best Ass Welts?”; “The ABC’s Of Masturbating In A Trophy Shop”; “Create Your Own Erotic Machinima!”; and “Docking For Complete Idiots.”

Abstract Submission Date: 11/15/2010

Notification of Acceptance: 2/7/2011

Final Paper Submission Date And Last Chance To Back Out And Avoid Negative Publicity: 3/14/2011

Participants in the Erotic Studies Conference receive two free turns at the Dave & Buster's "Big One Crane."

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One Response to Call For Papers – Erotic Studies Conference & Specimen Faire

  1. Caleb says:

    As the founder of VeganSexGod, an offline marketplace for erotic-organic vegetables, I’m thrilled that you offer an outlet for my oft tumultuous sexual appetite. I offer my services as an educated and enlightened consumer of high quality vegetables and pornography. I’ve concentrated my views in a brief presentation entitled, ‘Labeling Produce Bins Reduces Fecal/Oral Cross Contamination’. I will also distribute free pamphlets containing the vital points of my seminal 2009 article in the Journal of Erotic Medicine, ‘Optimal Fertilizer Concentrations for Increasing the Cucumber Girth’. My availability is limited in May, a timely response would be greatly appreciated.

    Yours,

    Caleb

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