Bethesda, Maryland Dave & Buster’s. (For 300 free D&B PlayPoints, use online code “SPASM.”)
Conference theme and objectives:
The conference provides a forum for sex researchers and members of the sensual community to present their latest findings. Topics of particular interest include, but are not limited to: pornographic art showcasing the characters of “Futurama”; the semiotics of buttstuff; cremasters (the testicle muscle, not the turgid art films!!); the recently unearthed erotic necktie art of Jerry Garcia; decompression sickness — aka “the bends” — as a means of heightening orgasm; tickle pogroms; women who can climax only while imagining Harry Connick, Jr. conducting a big band.
“Incorporating Yoga Props Into Your Masturbation Routine,” a multimedia presentation by Yogi Adam Herskowitz, followed by free lentil wraps from vegan chain Namaste Nom Noms.
ABS is also seeking specialists to lead conference workshops. Previous topics include “Repurposing A ‘Stinky The Garbage Truck’ Matchbox Car For Use As A Sex Toy”; “Twizzlers vs. Red Vines: Which Licorice Whip Leaves The Best Ass Welts?”; “The ABC’s Of Masturbating In A Trophy Shop”; “Create Your Own Erotic Machinima!”; and “Docking For Complete Idiots.”
Abstract Submission Date: 11/15/2010
Notification of Acceptance: 2/7/2011
Final Paper Submission Date And Last Chance To Back Out And Avoid Negative Publicity: 3/14/2011